Now that the holidays have come and gone for another year, I’ve naturally been doing a lot of reflecting on the past year and the year to come. Last year was the most exciting year of my life. God added Kara to our family and told me to leave my job to be at home with her. I can honestly say that it was the clearest that I have ever heard God speak to me about anything. It has been extremely hard to make it on one small salary, but we both knew that the only way it would be possible was with God. And we have made it! It wasn’t until recently, when our savings dwindled to nothing and our bank account had a $1.07 balance, that we started to really question if it was indeed God’s will for me to stay at home with Kara. We started to worry and put a monetary restriction on God’s plan. Surely God has other plans for us if we didn’t have extra money left over in the bank account at the end of the month. We prayed and prayed for answers and for direction. The upcoming new year seemed very foggy. While we desire to continue growing our family, we couldn’t see how it would be humanly possible if our financial situation remained the same. We started looking for things that we could do to fix it, to make it possible for God’s will to be done.
We tried to take control.
Then I remembered what I had heard God say to me before Kara was born. He gave me such peace about our finances. If I stayed home with Kara, he would provide for us. I questioned over and over whether it was my own desire to stay home or if God really was speaking to me, and through our Experiencing God class, I was able to discern that it really was His plan. I know that might seem convenient, since I also desired to stay home, but we were really scared to accept the truth that it was God’s will after all. It just want possible to us that we would be able to afford food, our house payment, insurance, fuel, much less the new expenses that come with a baby (which I’ve found are actually a lot less than I thought, which is a blessing! ) we knew that the only way we would make it is if God was in control.
So this is what I have to remember when my bank account dwindles to $1.07: God is in control of this. When I worry, I have to remember that He is taking care of me. He doesn’t promise that His path is the easiest path. He is refining our faith. He asks that we seek refuge in Him and He will protect us. He will give strength. He will give us comfort in trouble. When we worry, He asks us to remember that resting in His presence will give us peace.
None of us can say that we know God’s future plans for us. All that we can do is seek Him daily and walk with Him, knowing that His plan is revealed through His word, His people, prayer, and our circumstances. If God calls me to go back to work, I will go. If He calls me to stay home, I will stay. If He calls us to another state, country, or planet, we will go! 🙂 During the foggy days, when His plan seems so impossible and we can’t seem to hear His voice, we have to remember His truths and continue to seek His voice, counting His many blessings, and pressing on.
Hope Abounding 
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